Archive for the Freaky Shit Category
America is known for its great racing events: The Kentucky Derby, The Indy 500, Daytona 500 come to mind immediately. But now perhaps the most important race in American sporting history shall take place June 3, 2009 in beautiful sunny Van Nuys, California starting at nine am. Two women will battle to stake their claim as the greatest American cocksucker in history. Two whores shall enter SUCKADOME and only one will emerge victorious.
Each woman will have 30 minutes to drain as many cocks as they can only use only their mouth and hands. The women will split all of the men who show up into two teams. Each woman will than have to get her team of men off in record time.
The young upstart challenger 18 year old Tara Lynn Foxx said, “I am going to win the Great American Suck Off Race not only because I am Tara Lynn Foxx but with these big ol’ juicy lips I can deep throat like its going out of style.”
The reigning blow bang champion and internationally known fuck pig, Extreme Chelsie Rae scoffs at her young upstart challenger. “I have sucked down more sperm in a night than this young hussy has in her lifetime. I am going to prove to all these mopes that I am best god damn cock sucker on the planet.”
Director Jim Powers, the most notorious man in the history of porn, said this about the event, “For years I have felt that Bukkake represented Americana and brotherhood at its finest but now with the Suck Off Races, I see new horizons opening up before my eyes. It’s every bukkake boys dream come true, real life women will be sucking their cock willingly, without them paying for it. This is the natural evolution of porn into a new era of acceptance and possible Olympic involvement.”
The Great American Suck Off Races will be distributed by JM Productions and available at www.jerkoffzone. Men interested in being part of this epic adventure call 818 709 4452 for information, or email dan@pornodan.com.
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I had an interview with Fox Magazine for our soon to be released DVD, Snort that Cum Volume 1. I did the interview with the master of perversion, Jeff Hudis, a few days ago. I have done numerous interviews in my life with national radio shows like, Opie & Anthony and Don & Mike, adult industry publications like, XBIZ and AVN and even the Nation’s second largest newspaper, The Washington Post. It is safe to say I have never laughed so much as I did in this interview.
The concept for our Snort That Cum DVD is so ridiculous that it may take off and do very well. I truly hope it to does well as we have almost shot enough scenes so that we can launch a site. We have filmed some of the hottest young girls in this business including Tanner Mayes, Sierra Skye, Amy Starz, Natasha Nice and Isis Monroe snorting cum. Perhaps the most amazing thing about this is that some of the girls like Britney Stevens and Tara Lynn Foxx are viewing this as a competition and are begging me for their chance to shine.
People are going to be either disgusted or amused, or maybe both by this content. Either way one thing is for sure, it will stand in the vast sea of porn that is produced. The fact that a National Men’s magazine took them time to call me to an interview about the DVD before it is even released, shows just that.
Yes, Snort That Cum may be one of the most silly and outrageous ideas I have ever had, and as anyone who knows me will attest - that is quite a statement.
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Tonight’s Bukkake directed by Jim Powers for JM Productions was interrupted by an armed robbery. The suspect put a handgun to the head of production manager Johnny Thrust and demanded all the money out of drawer. The Bukkake participants are paid $75 each in cash; as such over $3,500 was stolen by the robber. The Los Angeles Police Department is looking for the suspect described by Thrust as a light skinned male in his late twenties, mixed race, with short brown hair and a mustache, approximately six foot tall, wearing a Los Angeles Dodgers Satin jacket over a bulletproof vest. Jim Powers is offering a $1,000 reward for any information leading to the arrest of the suspect.
Miraculously Powers held the group of Bukkake guys together and the shoot went off without a hitch. Ms. Ami Emerson was successful in her World Record Breaking attempt. She ate 71 loads of fried cum that I prepared into an omelet. Powers is quoted as saying, “While I am very proud of Ami and congratulate her on The World Record, I am more upset about the robbery than you can imagine. I am asking anyone out there who has information to please come forward and help us apprehend this individual.”
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This Wednesday World Renowned Director Jim Powers will be shooting his most romantic movie yet, as Ami Emerson will dine on a 70 man cum omelet. Powers, fresh off his win for producing the couple scene of the year at the iPorn Sexopolis Sunset Strip Awards aid, “I feel inspired to produce something every couple in love should be able to watch together. What better way to spend a romantic night than cuddling on the couch, watching a sweet young girl, eating a 70 man cum omelet.”
Powers’ useless production manager Johnny Thrust commented that he has had an overwhelming amount of response for this event, but can still use more load droppers. Said Thrust, “We are going to try and break the World Record for most loads of cum being fried and made into an omelet. The previous record is 16 loads set by a little sister during a fraternity initiation night, when all 16 pledges came in a frying pan before she fried it up and ate it. I am confident we will crush this mark. This is going to be a hallmark movie for JM Productions, and that is a very powerful statement.”
Powers went on a nation wide search to find one man sick and twisted enough to be the chef to cook all the cum. He realized there was only one man out there who us up to the task, “Porno” Dan Leal. Leal stated, “I am truly honored to be given the task of cooking the cum. Guys please come on down and drop a load for this record breaking effort. It’s a great way to make a quick buck, plus I am going to be casting for some new reality sites. This could be your big chance to break into porn.”
Ms. Ami Emerson said this, “I begging all you guys out there to help me break the World Record, so please call the Bukkake hot line at 818-709-4452”

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I went to Universal last night with Big “I am not with Dan” Andy. We walked around to try find a helmet, hat or mask for me to wear with the kick ass helmet cam we bought today. I am going to have this cam attached to head while we are shooting in Berlin for iPorn to ensure we get plenty of behind the scenes (bts) footage.
While were walking around we both noticed that everyone in the park was white! Not only were they all white, they looked like red necks. I commented to Andy that I had never seen so many white people since I had lived in LA. Andy is also from the East Coast, and said the same thing. He said, ”there must be a country music festival going on.” We walking out of the park, when limo after limo pulled up. All of them were filled with real slutty looking red neck chicks, with bad boob jobs. Our interest was peaked, so I told Andy to take some pictures of this very strange race of people that was coming into droves to Universal. Andy started taking picture after picture of all these very NRA card carrying looking people. Andy, who I must commend for his Porno Dan bull in the China shop approach, asked one the hillbilly’s what concert was going on. The Redneck replied it’s, “KID ROCK” with glee.
It all made sense now. LA had been invaded by the Kid Rock Army, and what an army it is! I hope you find the sea of white people as funny as I do, but you probably won’t. I think it’s the first, and last time, I will ever see a 360 degree field of hicks in LA.
The girl in this picture was very proud of her shirt she made. I guess no one told her that that the majority of Americans find it very offensive.
Editors note: Porno Dan does not feel love from Rednecks.

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I bought a couple very fitting url’s today. TheLittlePenisThatCould.com and LittlePenisthatCould.com, anyone who has seen me in action knows these fit me perfectly.
I was talking to my friend Cole Montana today, and he told me how he was shooting a “fraternity house” scene. He said they went through 8 guys, all of whom were unable to perform on film in front of a crowd of people. He asked me how I am able to get it up and cum in bars, clubs, restaurants, conventions etc…I told him it because I am, “The Little Penis That Could.”
We laughed, and I thought that would be a great new name for one of my sites. It’s all about guys with small penises that can fuck in front of crowds, while the guys with donkey dicks fail! It think it will be hilarious, and I know I will have a great time shooting it,
BTW - My friends Rick Shameless and Jim Powers say the reason I can fuck in front of huge crowds, and come again over and over, is that I have no heart. They claim I have a third testicle instead of a heart, as a result of a genetic mutation. I am going on the record to say that, “I will not admit to, deny or dispute this claim.”
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I want to thank everyone who made my birthday party the best one I have ever had. This is a very strong statement coming from since I am a birthday kinda of guy. I have always loved my birthday every since I was a little boy. I never really cared about the present, I liked having all my friends come together and be the host of a good time. Even as a child I loved being the center of attention, not much has changed
This year’s birthday party was held at Blue Moon Nights, where I host monthly parties the AEBN owned social networking site xPeeps. I was expecting a good crowd because the monthly xPeeps parties are always packed and we had some special added attractions. I had my friend King Ryan of King Ryan Events assisting me as a promoter and we had hired Big Sloan of Bones, Thugs-n-Harmony to perform. In addition Ryan booked the rock band Pusher to be the opening act! Finally West Coast Productions was the sponsor of the event. We had so much going on we knew it would be packed, well we did too well getting people to come out as the club was at capacity the entire night. There was a line to get in from 9 om until 1:30 am. Over 700 people came through the door and the club had it’s biggest night ever.
I was all over the place that night. We had a little snafu as the City wouldn’t let us have our step an repeat up in front of the club, so we had to move it to the back. We apologize for the lack of pictures that we normally have in front of the backdrop. Phoenix Marie, Jayden James, Kayla Page, Kris Slater made sure I wasn’t the first one to have sex in the club this time. I ran around like a mad man doing interviews, making sure VIP’s got in, and talking to all my friends until around 11 30 pm, when I finally calmed down and had my first drink. That is when I was back to being a little monster! The sum things up, yes I went down on Penny Flame and her new full bush on stage, yes Deena Daniels and I both ate out Madelyn Marie, and yes I did fuck Deena in the ass on stage. This little bundle of joy not only gave me her on camera anal virginity, she was kind enough to suck my cock after I had it her ass for her first Ass To Mouth (ATM) in her life! This was only the third time she had done anal in her life. The joy of having a small cock is girls can deep throat you and let you fuck them in ass, so I got that going for me.
I also want to thank the huge adult industry turn out including: Mary Carey, Kenzi Marie, Rick Shameless, Tori Black, Alexis Texas, Mr. Pete, Shane Ryder, Mr.Marcus, Deena Daniels, Kris Slater, Phoenix Marie, Just Dave, Dan Miller, Justin Bourne, Jayden James, Penny Flame, Kayle Page, Mark Anthony, Paris Marie, Lee Bang, Sophie Dee, Corina Taylor, Vanilla Sky, Huggie McCuddles, Munki, Satine Phoenix, Kelly Skyline, Valentino, Anita Blue, Chris Charming, Corina Jayden, Mofo, Tee Real, Tony Batman, Alyssa Hall, Arianna Armani, Megan Stokes, John Strong, Arnold Schwartzenpeckr, Priscilla Milan, Ami Emerson, Stunning Summer, Tommy Gunn, Valentino, Jeff Mullen, Jaylyn Rose, Kelly Devine, Samantha Sin, Charlee Chase, Cece Stone, Harley Fire, Craig Valentine, and his crew of pro wrestlers - not sure who I can name, and others I can’t remember.
I hope everyone had as much fun as I did. I apologize to my buddy Rick Shameless for being a little spas and not hanging out more with him. I was so all over the place I think he only got on picture of me for AVN. Oh well, I also need to thank my videographer Rev Sandy for shooting all the madness, and Rick Garcia for taking stills. Jeremy you did a great job making sure all the VIP’s got it. King Ryan what can I say you are the King of Events! I also owe a huge thanks to Eduardo, the owner of Blue Moon Nights, and all his staff. Having Bones lead the crowd in singing me Happy Birthday is something I will never forget.

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Yesterday I had the pleasure of being on the set of a 57 man Bukkake Video! The movie was JM Productions, American Bukkake 37. I went to the bukkake set, so we could see which guys we might want to use for a couple new reality sites, I am shooting for. Bukkake is kinda of like the proving ground, or minor leagues, for male porn talent.
I arrived at the bukkake around 7 pm, right as Jim Powers was shooting a tease video with the star of tonight’s bukkake, Deena Daniels. When I got there the one things that immediately hit me was how orderly everything was. Johnny Thrust, Jim’s Production Manager, was taking all the guys ids and getting all the guys signed in. I recognized some of the guys who were signing in including: Brandon Iron, Eric Swiss, Jenner, Justin Syder, Sledge Hammer, Dave Hardman and Brad Hardy. I was surprised to see established porn guys at this event, as the guys only get paid $75 each.
Jim continued with intro videos then had Gia Jordan take a couple stills of Deena. Then Jim did a 15 minute hilarious behind the scenes video with Dave Hardman. Dave expressed his beliefs how the world will end on 2012. He also stated he was going to vote for McCain, because he would let him own rocket propelled grenades, so he could defend himself when the end came.
After Dave’s insane ramblings, Jim had all the guys pile in the room so that Gia Jordan, his still photographer, could take pics for the box cover. Gia had to yell at the guys several times, so that they would close enough to Deena so she could get her shot. When she finally got the pictures she needed it was Bukkake Time! The guys started jerking off one after another on Deena. The guys came in very rapid succession. Over 30 guys came within the first ten minutes. Since this was a true bukkake the guys weren’t allowed to touch Deena and she could not touch them. I was amazed how quick the bukkake was. All 57 guys were done in less than 20 minutes. I have been on set for almost 1,000 scenes and I have to say this was the most efficient shoot I have ever seen.
After the shoot I helped Deena walk up the stairs to the shower. She couldn’t open her eyes as they were coated in cum! All in all it was good time, and we found at least 20 new guys for us to use for our new reality sites. I look forward to the next time I am invited to cover one of Jim Power’s Bukkake shoots.
 

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